Anticipation...

The more you want something, and the more you can't have it, the slower time goes by while you're waiting and wishing for it. This applies to so many things. When you want to shower because you are gross but have to wait hours before you get home, it seems like its taking days. When you are waiting for your birthday or for school to start again, that takes centuries. Waiting for your best friend to get off work so he can talk to you: eons. The only thing longer than an eon is... I'm not really sure, but had I known that I would have said that is how long it feels like you are waiting for your best friend to talk to you.

Uploading videos on YouTube takes a long time. Making the video so you can put it on there takes even longer. What happens to me is that I get one part good, really good, perfect, and then I watch that part a million times because its so good. And I get so excited and then forget that I still have 3 minutes of music still left to add clips too. Its quite the dilemma. Then I realize that I haven't gotten very far at all, and it won't matter how amazing it is if its never finished. Then I get discouraged and get back to work with a slightly sad attitude. And then after hours of working and it still seems to be not getting anywhere, at least not anywhere in a hurry, I just throw things in because I get bored and want it done. I am getting better at not doing that though. At least when it comes to movies. Things like logic puzzles, crafts, cleaning, if it seems that not much progress is happening, I just quit. Luckily I don't just give up on people though, because sometimes it takes some getting to know me before you want to be my friend, and then if I didn't let people do that, I wouldn't have very many friends. I don't have many close ones now, but I wouldn't have any sort of acquaintances and maybe not my close ones had I not been a little patient. I know people certainly have to be patient with me. My video, should you like to view it, can be found here.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sKtor8ULDjI

When you are afraid of something, I think that might be when time drags on the longest. When you are afraid that someone close to you has been hurt, and you wait to hear something from them to make sure they are ok, time goes by so slowly. Its worse than waiting for them to get off work. Trust me, I would know, I live this often. When you are afraid of the dark, night never ends. I don't think its really a fear of the dark though, I think its a fear of the things that are in the dark. Or a fear of being isolated and alone. Not really of the dark itself. Because if you have someone next to you that you trust, you aren't afraid anymore, because you aren't alone. Perhaps all fears are like that, they don't matter if you have someone you love next to you, you know that everything will be ok as long as they are there.

Yesterday, I talked about things that I disliked. Today, I will mention briefly something that I do like. Making my best friend smile. Its something that I always strive to do, something that I love doing. When he smiles, it makes me smile, his laughter is very catching. When he is happy, it makes something inside of me feel like its glowing. I think that might be happy that you get inside of you, the glowing feeling, not just the smile on your face happy like you try to act in pictures. Which that never works, it almost always looks forced. Unless you actually have reason to be happy, smiles don't normally look very convincing. Because it has to do with the way your eyes look. If the eyes don't sparkle, probably due to the inside glowing feeling, then its not true happy. But doing something that makes him happy makes me feel very good, and it makes me very happy.

Tomorrow school starts again for a month. Summer school. I spent a week bored, and then when I finally find something to do and enjoy summer, school starts again. Such is life. I will now reflect upon how I made my best friend smile today, with the video of which the link is posted here. I think I should sleep well tonight, I always do when I am happy.
PrincessC