Dictionary Definitions and Happily Ever After

The main point of all fairy tales: the princess meets a prince, usually due to the whole "damsel in distress" thing, they fall in love, and everyone lives happily ever after. The villain dies, which I guess they don't live happily ever after, but no one seems to care about them. Or they live in banishment, which is probably worse than being dead. But the main point I am trying to make is that they make this huge deal about this happily ever after thing. I don't think its true. I don't think that maybe people are supposed to live happily ever after. Or perhaps I am just not supposed to live happily ever after. Maybe I am the villain, and just didn't ever realize it. I have always thought that I was the good one, but I imagine that the villain probably thinks that they are doing right too. Maybe I've got it all wrong, maybe I'm not supposed to find a prince, maybe I'm not a princess, maybe I'm not supposed to live happily ever after.

Or maybe the way I live requires me to rewrite the fairy tales. What if there is no prince, but that isn't a problem because I don't need one? Maybe I am a princess that just needs her best friend, someone that she can rely on completely, to make her live happily ever after. I did a lot of thinking last night. I thought about what and where the day had brought me and brought me to and brought me through. I don't think that I slept at all (that could have been because my mind was busy, or maybe caffeine and a three hour long nap in the middle of the day). Yesterday, I was honest. Honesty is good, it is so much better than lying. (Again, you really don't get a good reading on who I am and what I mean when I say things unless you read all of my posts.) Complete honesty is something that is respected, something that I expect from my friends. It also seems to be my complete honesty that gets me into the most trouble. If you look up the definition of trouble you will find:

1) a cause of distress, annoyance, or inconvenience

2) Princess Cameron

It is an unfortunate fact of life. If you look up the second definition in the thesaurus, you may find "possibly the greatest scientific mind of our generation" as a synonym, but that is really beside the point in this illustration.

I think maybe I have different definitions of like and love than other people do. Examples:

• I love my logic puzzles, they keep me distracted when I am sad, make me feel accomplished and good about myself when they are completed correctly.
  
• I like broccoli. A lot of people don't (at least considering that I still think like a five year old sometimes), most people think that it is yucky.
  
• I love my mother and father, just like I love my brother, just like I love my friends. They are all important people in my life, I can't imagine losing any of them, it would be devastating to me.
  
• I like my friends too, in a different way than I like inanimate objects, in a deep way, that is different than love, that is different than anything.
  

Ok, now before anyone gets out the torches and pitchforks and heavy machinery or tells me that I am the most contridictory person in the world, allow me a chance to explain myself. Then, if you still have a problem with me, we can discuss it later. I know what I have said before (like yesterday and January 3 and probably other times) but just hear me out.

To me, to like a person is to mean that I never want them to leave. I want to be (or at least feel like) a very important thing to them, be something that they couldn't live without. And...that's about it. I'm not so much for the labels of significant other, don't really think the whole touching business associated with "being a couple" is really for me. Maybe I just want a really close friendship and that's it. Which is why in my mind, I like them, because it is a deep feeling, but its not really the same as when other people think about like. And maybe that helps to explain my pretty poor definition that I gave in that January 3 post. And maybe you could really care less.

I think that is enough for one day, I feel very relieved to have released all of that. Perhaps tonight I shall sleep peacefully.

PrincessC